|I am 51 years old, my life has been like anyone elses’ having its ups and downs. I have been married and divorced twice. No.. not because of the diabetes LOL. For most of my life I have been “with” someone. My family as a child, never lived on my own as an adult. Married at 20 for 3 years, divorced, married again at 24 for 23 years and again divorced this was in 2014. I was on my own for the first time in my life. and I am admitting that it was scary. There had always been someone there to have my back if something went wrong, while I worried I always knew someone was there to help out if I needed it. That is no longer the case and hasn’t been for the last few years.
As I said, I unfortunately am one of those people who have insulin reactions in the middle of the night or very early in the morning while asleep. I do not wake for these most of the time. I have had more than my share of scares since living on my own. My mom calls/texts me every morning to make sure I am still alive and well, poor thing she lives a life of fear that one day I wont answer and they will find me gone. I hate that she feels this way but I do not live in fear. I don’t feel like I should live scared because I believe that when my time comes it isn’t going to matter where I am. When God calls me I am ready to go.
My mom has been there for me all my life, she has supported me through some very hard times but never coddled me, never made me feel like I was less than…. When I was diagnosed at age 2 she told me that the doctors told her that if I were lucky I might live to see my teenage years, keep in mine this was back in 1969 when there wasn’t a lot of knowledge about Diabetes and no advancement in treating it. Can you imagine though the fear that they put into my mom by telling her that… I have at times wished that I knew who those doctors were so I could go back and “HA!!! I’m still here!!!” LOL the advancements in life with Diabetes has progressed so much and the ways in how you now live with Diabetes have changed so much. I remember as a child having to measure out everything I ate and count it as one of the food groups, right down to a tablespoon of ketchup being counted as a vegetable. I remembers having to be afraid if I actually ate something with sugar in it for fear that something really back was going to happen and believe me sugar free things were not very tasty back then. Now, everyone counts carbohydrates in order to keep their blood sugar in control. You counter it with the amount of short acting insulin you take. Much easier and it leaves you with a diet that you can manage without fear.
I have a 30 year old son who is also diabetic since age 12. My most recent severe reaction, he came to find me. I was of course embarrassed that he had to see me in this condition and have made changes to prevent another incident like that one. He is my rock, he is the reason I go on, that I move forward. His father is also diabetic he occasionally says to me “Thanks mom for the diabetes” LOL poor kid didn’t really stand a chance with both his parent being diabetic. He was however fortunate that he had parents that knew what to look for so he wasn’t living with it for years without anyone knowing. I raised him as a diabetic child in the way I would check his blood now and then, I didn’t feed him all kinds of sugar that would make it hard for him to give things up. He really just had a health diet he wasn’t deprived of anything. I am very proud of him.
I have a good group of friends at work that are there if I need them and they have come to my rescue a few times. I had a really hard time during my second divorce, the stress of that was really to much and my co workers came through for me a lot at that time. They have had to learn how to approach me to get me to do what they want. They have learned that the food they offer me needs to be something that I will like not just the first sugary thing they find and pick up. I can be difficult, I own that, but it is nice to have good friends to help if needed.
I have been seeing someone for awhile now and yes he has had to experience an insulin reaction. Poor guy, that was a night he may never forget. He had to call the ambulance and when they came and finally got me back to being alert they kept asking me if I knew who he was and I kept saying No, and they just looked at him while he help my little dog Charlie and smiled. I did eventually recognize him but I am sure he was wondering what he had gotten himself into. I kind of figured that I would never see him again after that night. He kept telling me that it was okay as I kept apologizing and he stayed for a long time after the ambulance left, early into the morning and he had to work but he stayed until I was good to be by myself. i really didn’t think he would want to see me again but he did so he must like me LOL.
Diabetes is not always harder on the person who has it. I think most times it is harder on those around them. Mainly because if they cant experience it they don’t know how to help it at least not with ease.
For those of you who read about what its like in the mind of a insulin reaction victim, you will see that when I am having a reaction I can hear everything that is going on around me and yes, some have said some pretty mean things (out of frustration) even when I cannot respond. And I can be very uncooperative when it happens too, but my friends and family have always been very supportive and loving when I have needed them most. They have helped me in times I am sure others could have walked away simply out of frustration. I am not always kind when I am speaking, I can hit and yell and fight you. Not every diabetic is like this, This is just how my reactions can be.
It is not always harder on the person with diabetes…….